I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
