I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
