Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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