just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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