we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
