Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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