hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.