I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
