Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
