dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i've created a new STD.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
