There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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