so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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