you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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