yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
