how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
