If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
