we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
