I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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