:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
