Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
