Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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