Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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