laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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