i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
