I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
my poor anus
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
