in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
