loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The power of my boobs compel you
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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