I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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