i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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