I don't think brook has ever known best
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
