Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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