So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
