I wish I only lived at night.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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