Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
