So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
