mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
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apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
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I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Let's get the cat blown out
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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