so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize