Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
