So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
