So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
