The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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