Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
