Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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