are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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