SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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