i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
