Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
a search helicopter?!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
