y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
