You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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