Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize