Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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