weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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